Below, you can leave your comment on it. Let's make this page a FORUM on jokes(And we'll see the result at the end) Januaryexternal image risas.jpg

Learn a Foreign Language

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

FORUM
- That's what I tell my parents: "It's no use learning languages"! (MJosé)
- Guys of 1º Bach. who went on the trip to Gibraltar, doesn't this joke ring a bell with you??? This is the one that Pepe, our tourist guide, told us on the bus. He used a shepherd instead of a driver....(1º Bach. B)


February
This time the joke is a visual one. As you might have seen we have started a new entry to "learn the sounds". Some times when we do not pronounce correctly there are misunderstandings and here we are with the typical ones. Sorry about the bad language! We couldn't help it!!! (Just for grown ups).

The Italian man who went to Malta

FORUM

- One of the best jokes ever!! Just hilarious, don't you think?? This reminds me of a Spanish boy working as a waiter at a hotel in London, when a guest asked him where the butter was, he sent him to the loo.....By the way, a bit of bad language won't do us any harm...
- I have already seen that video, but each time I look at it is funnier <3 grats to my dear teacher who has submitted it in the page! awesome (Mariel)
-hahahha...the second joke is better than first,but it´s a bit...euh...green?hahahahah but well,it´s funny.SON OF A -CENSURED- HAHAHAHHA!!!!(Jesús)
- Give a synonim for "loo", please! Does anybody know?
- Sure, loo means toilet.The waiter mistook the word butter for WC or the toilet (after its pronuncation in spanish as váter).
- jajajajajajajajaja very good jaja(julia)
- Where did you find loo or butter in the video? I'm lost
- Loo or butter are not on the video. They are in the first message of this Forum above. It just shows the importance of pronounciating words correctly and similarities with other languages



March
I would like to share these jokes with you. They have been written (or translated ) by students of another group in the school. Do they ring a bell? Enjoy them.

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Spaniard
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Spaniard went for an interview for a job in England. Before the interview, they were told to make a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first. “I wake up in the morning, I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I think it will be a pink day”
The Frenchman was next, “I wake up in the morning. I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch The Pink Panther on TV”.
The last one was the Spaniard, “I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone -‘green… green …’- , I pink up the phone and I say ‘Yellow?’
external image caballos_gestion_01.jpg
The horse
A horse came into a pub and sat next to a drunk man. The horse asked a coffee.
He drank it and went out. Then the barman said to the drunk man,
"How strange it was!" And he answered, "Yeah! He always drinks beer!"

Punctuation
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."



April
external image 145.jpgNot my job ....
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

ooo0000ooo

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- As real life......
-
external image uncle-sam.jpg

Stereotypes ....
A person who speaks two languages is bilingual...A person who speaks three languages is trilingual...
A person who speaks four or more languages is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one language?
An American.

FORUM




May

Johny and his sums


Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: “Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch…”

“Johnny !” shouted his mother. “Watch your language! You’re not allowed to use the swearwords.” “But, Mom,” replied the boy, “that’s what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it.”

Next day Johnny’s mother went right into the classroom to complain. “Oh, heavens !” said the teacher. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say, ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’

Tongue twister
One of your classmates wants to share this tongue twister with us. Make a try!!

1 - For Beginners
En español: Tres brujas miran tres relojes Swatch. ¿Qué bruja mira que reloj?

En inglés: Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which Swatch watch?

2 - For Intermediate

En español: Tres brujas 'travestis' miran los botones de tres relojes Swatch ¿Qué bruja travesti mira los botones de que reloj Swatch?

En inglés: Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

3 - ... and for advanced

En español: Tres brujas suecas transexuales miran los botones de tres relojes 'Swatch' suizos. ¿Qué bruja sueca transexual mira a que boton de que reloj 'Swatch' suizo?

En inglés: Three Swedisch switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watch switches. Which Swedisch switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch switch?


Your classmate keeps on sending us smiles on to our faces. Try these videos external image banner_tongue_twisters2.gif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEX6XlJlLpc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS6-q-CCxis&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRou0afovOo&feature=related

Les Luthier: Lo importante que es saber idiomas